She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
