xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
