Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
