I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
