Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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