Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
