love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
