i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
