OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
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BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
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Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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