We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
