Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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