She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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