oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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