the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
