Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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