We're facebook friends in real life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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