so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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