I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
