Just fell off a train. Bad.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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