don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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