I must be too annoying 4 u.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
