just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
