so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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