one might say we're banned from that church
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
