this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
