I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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