HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
