Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
