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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
