I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Your penis caused this!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
