I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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