things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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