apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
