Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
