So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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