if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
