i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
