you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
