69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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