She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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