good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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