I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What happened to fro yo and sex?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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