uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
