hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
