why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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