But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
