if you like me you must not know who I am
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
