my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
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Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
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We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.