Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
