meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster