Texts From Last Night

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  (737): View more from Texas

  You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?

  (1-737): View more from Texas

  That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there

  (737): View more from Texas

  It's my parent's restaurant

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  (737): You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot? (1-737): That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there (737): It's my parent's restaurant http://tfl.nu/0xzo
  Replies (8) Good night (1131) Bad night (2768)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.

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  (647): look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me. http://tfl.nu/z593
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (3214)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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  (224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy
  Replies (44) Good night (7698) Bad night (4497)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

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  (607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me http://tfl.nu/ry9s
  Replies (35) Good night (30138) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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  (605): Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability. (1-605): Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/l83k
  Replies (10) Good night (773) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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  (408): I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all" http://tfl.nu/dl7h
  Replies (1) Good night (1162) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.

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  (951): Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day. http://tfl.nu/6blw
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Lets trade lives

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears

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  (931): Lets trade lives (931): And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears http://tfl.nu/3fv6
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  great clearly means different things to us

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  (919): The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories (1-919): Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences (919): great clearly means different things to us http://tfl.nu/ha8x
  Replies (2) Good night (827) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.

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  (920): Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms. http://tfl.nu/5i1h
  Replies (7) Good night (844) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...

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  (778): I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating... http://tfl.nu/qllj
  Replies (12) Good night (611) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.

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  (705): Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah. http://tfl.nu/1cng
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours

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  (662): His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours http://tfl.nu/j499
  Replies (8) Good night (364) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.

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  (914): the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day. http://tfl.nu/xrh0
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world

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  (610): I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world http://tfl.nu/e7ut
  Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (412)

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