do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.