hell yes lets make some ravioli
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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