Your tits are I can't wait for
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
