Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
