I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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