he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
