I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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