Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
