sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
