Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just pee around me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
