I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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