uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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