My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i've created a new STD.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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