Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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