You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
