OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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