They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
